Why Kraken LC Should Be New PLL Team
War is being waged. A war to end all wars. A war to decide the PLL’s seventh team’s name. What will it be? Your guess is as good as mine. But with new information from Paul Rabil and Twitter, I know what’s popular. It is time for Logical Lacrosse to join this fight. I’ve read all the suggestions. Blackwatch, Wizards, and Icebreakers. They’re good names, no doubt. But one name stands above the rest. The PLL should name team seven the Kraken Lacrosse Club.
Nothing is more dominant than a kraken. It owns the seas. The kraken rules 71% of planet earth. It can tear down ships and crush megalodons. The Archers’ arrows would bounce off its skin. Chrome’s knights would be pulled beneath the murky depths. Whipsnakes would slither from the seas. Atlas and Redwoods provide a mere snack. The only threat would be Chaos, led by their own alpha predator in Andy Towers. The battle would be legendary. It would be David vs Goliath, but they’re both Goliath. Godzilla vs King Kong. Luke Skywalker vs Darth Vader. A true battle for the ages. PLL must give us this.
Horrifically, of all potential names for team seven, Paul Rabil revealed two terrible names he’s considering. Get ready for this letdown. Stones Lacrosse Club or Grit Lacrosse Club. What the heck? This is blasphemy! How can you make your mascot a literal rock? The only thing Grit LC does is make me grit my teeth. Of all the great suggestions, these two cannot be the finalists.
After reading Stones and Grit LC, Kraken must sound pretty damn good. I’ll leave you with two videos. One will contain a kraken, the other will not. You can decide which is cooler.
Look at the fear in their eyes when the kraken is released. A beast to behold.
The disappointment Squidward displays is how we’d all feel if the PLL picks Stones LC. Substitute “pure bred snail” with “good team names.”
My readers, let’s blow this up. We need PLL leadership to realize Kraken LC is the only option. We want names that will draw in casual fans. Kraken LC is unique and stands apart. The merchandising opportunities are limitless. I promise PLL management, Kraken LC would have at least one fan. Now, who’s with me?
Have a better name? Do you like Kraken LC? Do you like Grit or Stones LC? Obviously, I was having a bit of fun with this article, but whatever your thoughts, I’d love to hear them. Let me know your thoughts by connecting with me on Twitter or Instagram. You can also subscribe to my website to comment directly onto this article. By subscribing, you’ll be notified whenever I publish a new article. Any and all support is appreciated.
One last thing, please follow Nikolas Balling on Twitter. He is the one who created the Kraken LC logo and deserves credit for his art. I’m just piggybacking on it. Thank you Nikolas! Thank you all for reading and let’s keep growing this wonderful game.